relationships
&
authenticity
Painting by Ashley Adams
11/4/21
I see that my Journey of Transformation has been a long gradual shift into being ever-more Authentically me. I see that I've wanted to belong. I see so many habits of trying to morph into someone that gets approval & acceptance from others. I've been a world-class people pleaser trying to make the grade set by others' standards. Trying to get approval from others has resulted in a slow steady drain on my energies. I yearn for the comfort of accepting myself. I yearn for Ease. I yearn to be free of my puppet-on-a-string existence. Is stress the consequence of my outer expression being out of congruency with my Truth. I yearn for the comfort of the external me being a beautiful expression of the real me. I yearn to know myself and to be fully empowered in expressing my authenticity.
Last night I watched the 1981 movie On Golden Pond. Jane Fonda played the part of Chelsea, a middle-aged woman that still carried the belief and the emotional wounds of her father having called her fat as a child. To anyone else, there was absolutely no validity to the perception that she was fat. But there she was, all these years later, burdened by the belief that she was not good enough, weighed down with the emotions of it all and struggling in her bad relationship with her father. She looked perfect on the outside, but inside she was a mess.
How many times have I been criticized? How many wounds do I still carry from believing others that criticized me? In how many ways am I still seeking to prove these false perceptions wrong? What patterns & resonance do I carry that keep perpetuating these experiences? When will I stop holding others accountable for telling me the truth about myself?
I read this quote this morning by Brene Brown, from Braving the Wilderness. She summed up my desires on this matter quite eloquently.
I see that my Journey of Transformation has been a long gradual shift into being ever-more Authentically me. I see that I've wanted to belong. I see so many habits of trying to morph into someone that gets approval & acceptance from others. I've been a world-class people pleaser trying to make the grade set by others' standards. Trying to get approval from others has resulted in a slow steady drain on my energies. I yearn for the comfort of accepting myself. I yearn for Ease. I yearn to be free of my puppet-on-a-string existence. Is stress the consequence of my outer expression being out of congruency with my Truth. I yearn for the comfort of the external me being a beautiful expression of the real me. I yearn to know myself and to be fully empowered in expressing my authenticity.
Last night I watched the 1981 movie On Golden Pond. Jane Fonda played the part of Chelsea, a middle-aged woman that still carried the belief and the emotional wounds of her father having called her fat as a child. To anyone else, there was absolutely no validity to the perception that she was fat. But there she was, all these years later, burdened by the belief that she was not good enough, weighed down with the emotions of it all and struggling in her bad relationship with her father. She looked perfect on the outside, but inside she was a mess.
How many times have I been criticized? How many wounds do I still carry from believing others that criticized me? In how many ways am I still seeking to prove these false perceptions wrong? What patterns & resonance do I carry that keep perpetuating these experiences? When will I stop holding others accountable for telling me the truth about myself?
I read this quote this morning by Brene Brown, from Braving the Wilderness. She summed up my desires on this matter quite eloquently.
True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are... True belonging is not something that you negotiate externally, it's what you carry in your heart.
Brene Brown
Brene Brown
I guess if I desire healthy Relationship, I need to start with my relationship with my Self.
