Awareness of superiority/inferiority
an excerpt from Live Beautifully: A Book to Sit With, by Doris Wedige
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Reflections on the grand illusion...
Part of my on-going spiritual practice is becoming aware of the ego. Lately I’ve been meeting new people socially. As soon as we get beyond exchanging our handshakes, our names, and our hometowns, I feel like the ego jumps out from behind a bush and says, “Don’t forget about me! Me, me, me… introduce me!” And I find myself sharing my titles, my roles, my identities, all for the purpose of enhancing the egoic me. Have you ever watched children at play? I want to be like them in the adult play world. I just want to say, “Hi, do you want to hang out?” And then proceed to be joyful and playful. I also would like to become aware of the times when I set the stage for the ego in other people to act out. At times I can be a good listener, which sometimes just means that I am a good audience for someone else to parade their ego back and forth across the stage. I add to the insanity of it all by clapping and cheering and throwing bouquets of carnations at their ego’s feet, saying, “Oh, you are so successful… Oh, I’m so impressed… Oh, I want to be your friend so I can stand in your spotlight…” Hmmmm… I feel like someone just showed me the trick behind a grand illusion. I feel like I’ve been scammed, taken in, the fakeness of it all has been revealed and the trick that entertained me for so long has lost its appeal. Maybe that’s why I enjoy playing with my pets so much. No introductions necessary. Playfulness without ego. |
I intend to have Awareness of the ego.