Awareness of anxiety
an excerpt from Live Beautifully: A Book to Sit With, by Doris Wedige
Reflections on days when static creeps in...
Last night I received very disturbing news about some family friends. My emotions were on high alert. My heart was broken. I was angry. I was confused. I was frustrated. I wanted things to be different. I went to bed feeling very heavy and sad.
This morning the heaviness lingers. My thoughts are stuck on negativity. I feel like it’s time to return to stillness, but how?
I remind myself of our television set when I was a little girl. Sometimes it would flicker a line of static across the screen. It might come and go a few times…static, clear picture, static, static, clear picture, static… If it got stuck in static mode, someone would have to get up, walk across the room and give it a good smack. Then it would return to a clear picture. On bad days it would take repeated smacks.
I feel like that old TV stuck in static mode right now. I want to return to clarity, to stillness. I wish someone would come up and whap me upside the head to realign my thought waves that are all askew.
There’s no one to do the job in that regard, so instead I will return to gratitude journaling. I will keep finding gratitude and reveling in my appreciation, my acceptance, and my joy.
With fits and starts my being slowly returns to clarity. I let go of the negativity, and acceptance slowly creeps in. My heart regains its joyful vibration once again. Ahhh, it feels so good to return to Lightness and Clarity.