A Daily Devotion to the Inner You
(in contrast to trying to fix problems on the level of changing the outer circumstances)
EXCERPTS FROM MY JOURNALING:
Friday, March 2, 2001
The last few days I haven’t felt ‘connected.’ I thought that is was because I was premenstrual. But looking back I see I haven’t done my morning ritual since Monday. I’ve been staying up later trying to finish my book club book. Thus I’m sleeping later and I am missing out on my solitary time. My what a difference it makes in my state of being.
The good thing about missing a few days is I’ve gained an appreciation of what it does for me.
October 9, 2001
Something has been missing in my life the past several months. I couldn’t put my finger on the cause at first. I seem to have lost my ‘spiritual connection.’ It started around the time I started my new job. So I thought being around all that materialism was bad. But then I would think ‘how can being surrounded by beauty, both people and furnishings, be bad?’
This morning I had the opportunity to make a pot of coffee, pick up my room, light the fireplace, and read my inspirational book. I plan to go for a walk shortly. It occurred to me that when I started my new job I got out of the routine of having some daily meditation time.
I feel like I’m welcoming a long lost friend back into my life.
All worthwhile endeavors require focus and attention. I tend to take my soul for granted on my list of daily responsibilities. I guess it should be at the top.
October 12, 2001
I’m sitting in my big comfy-cozy chair enjoying the beauty of Tzychofsky (?spelling word for they day). The big gray screen looms across the room. Part of me feels the need to turn it on & find out what is happening in our world. The other part of me longs to enjoy & savor the beauty of this moment.
January 28, 2002
We just got home from a 3-day holiday. When I take a ‘holiday’ I slow down and my wants seem to change. When we hiked I felt renewed and energized and ready to make some wonderful adjustments in my life. I was so excited to get home and get started. What did I want to do? Simplify my life. Spend time in nature. Take more vacations. Read the books that sit on my shelves. Put the final touches on my home that transcend it from something wonderful to something magical.
When I walked back through the door of our home I was back in the world of responsibility that I’ve created for myself… It would be so easy to lose that ‘holiday’ feeling. But I want to guard that feeling very closely, keep a little bit of it tucked inside to carry with me all through the day.
April 21, 2002
I’ve felt odd lately. Uncomfortable. And then I put my finger on it the other day. I had stopped reading inspirational books and writing in my journal. I am going to resume this life altering ritual. Good night Doris.
Wednesday, April 24th, 2002
What circumstance has changed that I have such a different outlook on my life than I had just one week ago? I believe the change was due to my daily ritual of sitting in my chair with a beautiful cup of coffee, inspirational reading and my diary.
Many times I’ve started and stopped this ritual. And I’ve progressively noticed the changes that take place in my life from its presence or absence.
What magic do these moments hold? How can this brief time have such a positive impact on the remaining 23 ½ hours of my day?
I don’t understand why, but I certainly don’t need to have an understanding to know when something works.
And so, Dear Diary, I’ll bid you ado until tomorrow.
February 5, 2005
Sometimes I feel as though I was born at the wrong time. I’m living in the 21st century. A period in history where speed is ‘in.’ The faster the better. The faster you go, the more you are able to accomplish. Go. Go. Go. 15 second commericals.
60 second meals. Laptop computers. Palm pilots. Emails. Not snail mail.
I feel uncomfortable & out-of-place under these conditions. I like to write letters by hand on nice stationery. I like to read books. I like to take all day to make a pot of soup. Not open a bowl & put it in the microwave. I like to write in a diary… iron clothes... sit & drink my coffee from a special mug, not from Styrofoam or paper.
I love the solitude & the pace of nature. It has a rhythm that never falters. I find it so comforting.
The sound of leaf blowers put my teeth on edge, but the sound of a rake gathering dry crisp leaves into a pile delights my senses.
Am I behind the times? Or maybe I’m ahead of the times. Maybe after living this new lifestyle people will begin to remember the good ole’ days and choose to return to that way of life. Either way, I don’t care. Ahead or behind. I’ve tried to fit in. But when one isn’t true to oneself, life is not good.
And so I will live true to myself. Making the necessary adjustments. If I work less at an income generating pursuit, I simply must spend less. Not a bad trade off. Just a choice to spend less and enjoy more.
I yearn to live a SIMPLY ABUNDANT life.
MY PERSPECTIVE TODAY
As I read my old journals I see that I had to go back and forth many times experiencing the contrast of days that began with a time of stillness and reflection and days where I hit the ground running. I had to experience the contrast of living with Connection to my inner Self and with a focus merely on the outer circumstances of my life and deriving whatever I could from each experience.
At some point I became devoted to beginning my day in a most beautiful way. I always have a comfortable quiet place where I can sit in solitude ready the night before. I have a blanket for my lap, inspirational books, a journal, pen, & a candle. I rise at whatever time is necessary, feed the cats and then settle in with a hot cup of coffee.
This practice of focusing on the inner me has resulted in a great inner transformation and consequently a great outer transformation of my life. My previous efforts of trying to fix my outer life were always just a temporary change. My devotion to turning my attention within has become my means of lasting transformation.
I strongly urge you to give this a try and pay attention to what happens. Experience and record in your journal the contrast of a life lived with and without a morning practice of self reflection, inspiration and meditation.
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